Liberty Avenue Park
#3
i see some stuff you could remove without hurting the poem.
words like for before it or i are seldom need.
same with phrases like that was and because
i quite like it though it needs a fair bit of trimming down

thanks for the read.
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Messages In This Thread
Liberty Avenue Park - by raymond trevitt - 08-06-2012, 12:03 PM
RE: Liberty Avenue Park - by ambustharp - 08-06-2012, 03:53 PM
RE: Liberty Avenue Park - by billy - 08-06-2012, 05:53 PM
RE: Liberty Avenue Park - by raymond trevitt - 08-07-2012, 06:07 AM
RE: Liberty Avenue Park - by billy - 08-08-2012, 11:22 AM
RE: Liberty Avenue Park - by addy - 08-07-2012, 06:01 PM



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