The Sweet Eater

[billy]

It will rot your inside out
All that sugar they say and
he thinks:

Well that’s pretty good voodoo
Licking off peppermint fingers
With tongue painted
The pure blue of poison frogs

He knows, as

Crushed magic stirs his saliva
Like it did medicine men before him,
Like it did wild men before him,
That the secret in it is

There are no secrets, only pleasures

The cheap cola hisses.
Happy he drinks it
Down
Bubbles boiling his blood to clean sap
Oozing so slow he’ll never die,
So sweet they’d glaze his very bones

Would you instead of your work better on the first line?
Is they say needed on the second line?
Absolutely like the second stanza.
I can taste the originality of the peppermint.
And laugh at the pure blue.

I think it needs a pause of ... after that the secret in it is

Would; there are no secrets, only pleasures, read better as;

there are no secrets
only pleasures

love the last stanza.

Some really good imagery. It has lots of originality
You capture the taste of sweetness.

Not sure about the title. It’s a little bit obvious.
But all in all i really enjoyed it.

sorry about doing a full crit of it in the mild critique section but you are employed here :p. good poem thanks for posting