06-06-2010, 11:00 AM
as it is it's prose moobs but i must say it would take very very little to turn it into a very decent piece of poetry. prose poetry but poetry non the less. needs a little bit of grammar but all in all i liked it 
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Hope
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06-08-2010, 08:56 AM
I agree its prose, but there's some good poetry in there. A lot of the lines really grabbed me. Thoughtful and visceral
PS. If you can, try your hand at giving some of the others a bit of feedback. If you already have, thanks, can you do some more?
06-08-2010, 12:32 PM
You have nice rhythm going here, with very minor hiccups to grammar and spelling (and doesn't that happen to the best of us?).
10-23-2013, 06:05 AM
Good peice story of our lives displayed in a weeds intro format from school to scholl across this country. Morale based. The system moving- but beneath the surface and those who do it....so true...so true. I really liked this
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