On Juxtaposition

[matsunosuperfan]

On Juxtaposition

Almost irresistible, this need
to make good sense of things,
to see the lathe turn

ancient trees into a chair
or vanity, a bat for kids
to make a fist around and swing 

with force—as long as life is
doing work, we take it
as it comes.

If a stray ant is found
carrying bread, 
it gets to live.

If I say yesterday
the man who sat beside me
had a gun,

and there’s no blood
by the fifth stanza, readers
feel deceived—if, in my dreams

I dream I am a great blue whale
and there’s a pool in my backyard

without a cover,
I might not wake up.

[busker]

On Juxtaposition

Almost irresistible, this need
to make good sense of things,  .... you explain the title at once. Good job.
to see the lathe turn

ancient trees into a chair
or vanity, a bat for kids
to make a fist around and swing 

with force—as long as life is
doing work, we take it
as it comes. .... this explains the need to make good sense. Nice.
If a stray ant is found
carrying bread, 
it gets to live. ... I like the insight into how we see things with this very hard hitting example. I don't like 3 lines to explain it.

If I say yesterday
the man who sat beside me
had a gun,

and there’s no blood
by the fifth stanza, readers
feel deceived—if, in my dreams ... the poem develops brilliantly till 'deceived'

I dream I am a great blue whale ... is this a reference to the 'blue whale challenge' that you might not wake up? I feel that better dream references could be employed
and there’s a pool in my backyard

without a cover, .... didn't get this one. The pools that I know have to be fenced off by law. Very few are covered. 
I might not wake up. .... unhappy with the ending. The poem begins so promisingly and carries on well till the deceived readers. Thereafter, it's just producing another example of how the reader might feel deceived

Enjoyed the poem. didn't like the ending.

[matsunosuperfan]

On Juxtaposition

Almost irresistible, this need
to make good sense of things,  .... you explain the title at once. Good job.
to see the lathe turn

ancient trees into a chair
or vanity, a bat for kids
to make a fist around and swing 

with force—as long as life is
doing work, we take it
as it comes. .... this explains the need to make good sense. Nice.
If a stray ant is found
carrying bread, 
it gets to live. ... I like the insight into how we see things with this very hard hitting example. I don't like 3 lines to explain it.

If I say yesterday
the man who sat beside me
had a gun,

and there’s no blood
by the fifth stanza, readers
feel deceived—if, in my dreams ... the poem develops brilliantly till 'deceived'

I dream I am a great blue whale ... is this a reference to the 'blue whale challenge' that you might not wake up? I feel that better dream references could be employed
and there’s a pool in my backyard

without a cover, .... didn't get this one. The pools that I know have to be fenced off by law. Very few are covered. 
I might not wake up. .... unhappy with the ending. The poem begins so promisingly and carries on well till the deceived readers. Thereafter, it's just producing another example of how the reader might feel deceived

Enjoyed the poem. didn't like the ending.

Thanks for reading. I do have some hope for this one. Can you say more about "3 lines" - just think the lineation is too dramatic, or something about the gesture itself?

I won't talk about my intentions for the ending but apparently it didn't land