Her Regal Lanterns

[hollyo998]

What bright lights come from the Heavens?
Their ancient twinkle of youth
makes hair turn grey and eyes grow bright.
With their disappearance, the Earth shakes,
and plants wrap around young arms to wither.
They smell of mystery and feel of longing.


Is it me they call for?
Heightened senses and spilling dreams
are all the proof I need.
Celestial mercy at the hands of whom?
Incomplete without their glow,
I sit in hexagonal darkness.

[TranquillityBase]

Some good stuff here, especially that last line. I think the whole line "They smell of mystery..." is very weak compared to the rest of the lines. I'd say just take it out, as it seems to add nothing for me. The previous lines don't need elaboration.

Story of the poem: the lights disappear, but then are calling to "me"....I know poems certainly don't need to be logical, but that halted me for moment from enjoying it all the way through.

[Miley]

What bright lights come from the Heavens?
Their ancient twinkle of youth
makes hair turn grey and eyes grow bright. I like how the transformative nature of the light is exspressed here, as in either literally ages people, or the color of things just changes under the cast of the light. Perhaps the two are somehow one in the same. 
With their disappearance, the Earth shakes,   I'm assuming, the *their* your referencing is the bright lights, but they are disappearing? Disappearing from earth or from heaven? 
and plants wrap around young arms to wither.
They smell of mystery and feel of longing.


Is it me they call for?
Heightened senses and spilling dreams
are all the proof I need.  This line and previous may be my favorite bit of the poem, it has a sort of intuitive logic to it that just feels right. You may be able to get away with cutting *Is it me they call for?*
Celestial mercy at the hands of whom
Incomplete without their glow,
I sit in hexagonal darkness. Not sure I understand what hexagonal is referencing here, actually these last three lines are a bit of a puzzle for me.

Some of the poem has an archaic feel, not necessarily a good or bad thing. It may support your subject which seems to be about something that is fleeting, but I do wonder at times if its trying to be poetic. It makes me think about an older world that had a sort of religious magic, like miracles or something, that for whatever reason is disappearing now. I got the feeling reading it that was coming from a very specific mystic point of view, that I didn't quite understand, but found some of the images compelling, and while overall puzzled did get a general feeling for things.