The End of the World

[RiverNotch]

Creeks become rivers,
Rivers become straits,
Straits become seas,
Seas become oceans,

This narrow strip of land
We once called love
Will be swallowed by the heat,
We'll be swallowed by the heat.

---

It's easier to compose than to critique without a computer,

[billy]

hi river, while i like it, it doesn't seem very cataclysmic.

Creeks become rivers,
Rivers become straits,
Straits become seas,
Seas become oceans,

This narrow strip of land
We once called love
Will be swallowed by the heat,
We'll be swallowed by the heat.

---

It's easier to compose than to critique without a computer,

[ellajam]

Creeks become rivers,
Rivers become straits,
Straits become seas,
Seas become oceans,

This narrow strip of land
We once called love
Will be swallowed by the heat,
We'll be swallowed by the heat.

---

It's easier to compose than to critique without a computer,

I really like L5-7 but I've been thinking about the last line. At first I wanted it gone, then thought about the difference between the "love" and the "we". For the purposes of the poem I'm not sure there is a difference but if there is I'd like it explained to me better in that last lines.

Thanks for the read, I've been enjoying it.

[RiverNotch]

thanks for the notes.

[alonso ramoran]

Hi River,

Been thinking about this piece a lot. The repetition works for me in the end and is actually what keeps bringing me back. Don’t have much to say other than good work.

Thanks for the read,
Alex