03-17-2018, 02:55 AM
Helios' March
this morning's sun
on your mark
gets set for spring
catches you
walking naked to the kitchen
this morning's sun
on your mark
gets set for spring
catches you
walking naked to the kitchen
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Helios' March
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03-17-2018, 03:02 AM
Great ending!
And I like how you personified dawn breaking as a race.
The secret of poetry is cruelty.--Jon Anderson
03-17-2018, 07:01 AM
Images running through my mind - not pleasant ones
 Like this one ~
assholery not intended .
03-21-2018, 06:32 PM
Nice one Paul, the ending is great.
My only query would be about 'March' in the title, is it simply a month reference or is it a play on the double meaning of 'march', if so then a 'march' feels at odds against the race that you have set up in the poem. I'm out of practice with all this critique  Mark  wae aye man ye radgie |
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