Posts: 298
Threads: 45
Joined: Jul 2014
how utterly...
scattered meanings fade from words
and dribble in small dots,
implying that i am not finished yet.
i will always try
to figure out a why.
there is a reason for each tiny movement...
and it´s not good,
nor bad,
just cause.
a chain of causes binding us
while we are weaving threads of silk,
spreading in the moment
and entwining us.
can you make me stay,
will this protein decay
and iron rust away as well?
the light grows dimmer in the past.
feeling blindly for the links
i had thought to reach
an origin,
a fix.
...
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I thought I was ready
I bought all the right books,
googled sleeping habits,
woke up every night, happy to soothe,
sat on the floor to play blocks,
gave excuses when you wouldn't talk,
even tried to say it was cute.
Then I heard the word Autism,
and knew I wasn't.
Time is the best editor.
Posts: 1,185
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Joined: Nov 2015
Feeling very inadequate to praise, much less analyze these first three challenges. Everyone (else) is performing brilliantly.
@Richard's, for example, subtly brings up the issue of where to put the turn (though others also place it at the end, notably @Keith). Most effective at the end (a "button closure," as they say for audition monologues), somewhere in the middle, or at the beginning - putting the reader on guard, or just not required to read the work twice but getting it all first time through?
Non-practicing atheist
Posts: 298
Threads: 45
Joined: Jul 2014
i just was reminded how utterly mistaken i was when interpreting/ thinking about your poem, duke. dementia is not forgiving, it may bring out otherwise controlled/ repressed character traits, but above that, it doesn´t move the blame/forgiveness pendulum in either way.
no need to write "everyone (else)"... i think your poem has quite an impact.
first we fret about how we´re perceived by the ones we love...
then we realize we forgot that being perceived - no matter how - counts more.
and the ending of your poem sent me thinking as well. can there even be a nirvana as long as there are traces of past left? would i trade precious memories for forgetting painful ones?
...
