PWoF 2016 - Topic 01 - Sept. 22

[cvanshelton]

Food got really dark. I love the line "thorough against my skin"

Going For A Dip

Down with a smooth slice,
a slow envelopment
cool and thorough against my skin,
a wetsuit of forgetfulness

or in a quick descent
through a thin searing heat
that wakes me with a lasting sting
and clings until I disintegrate,

the result will be the same, gone.

---

This was a lot of fun to read. You got the flow down so well, and it comes across almost like a nursery rhyme but ends in genocide. Cracked me up.

Falsetto Realism
           (we all live in a perpetual state of detachment and die screaming)


I'm a chicken nugget
and I'm off to see the queen
with my little nugget rucksack
and my little nugget dream
to be the nugget president
of Chicken Nugget Land
and sing my nugget anthem
to a nugget marching band!
 
I shall declare all nuggets free
to wander far and wide
beneath the flag of liberty
and carry it with pride
deep into hash brown country where
those filthy bastards hide
and cut their heads off one by one:
a breakfast genocide!

---

Nice Lizzie! I really like the last two stanzas.

"Nuggets"


Dial up the heat
to four hundred degrees,
toss me into the pan
like you're throwing dice.

I promise you:
I will always
taste
like love.

[rayheinrich]

                                   

                                                 light and dark
                                                 light and dark

                                                 the door opens
                                                 i can see
                                                 the door closes
                                                 and i can't
                                                 
                                                 the door opens
                                                 and they bring them in
                                                 on trays and trays

                                                 and then
                                                 they take the others out
                                                 
                                                 the door opens
                                                 and they lay more down
                                                 above me
                                                 below me  
                                                 
                                                 and soon 
                                                 they'll take me out as well

[kolemath]

Leanne thank you for the clarification.

Lady's man if there's one lady; ladies' man if a slooty man

[HaleINthewind]

"Lady's man if there's one lady; ladies' man if a slooty man" - Kolemath

Ahhh haha so if my man were to be a ladies' man, not a just lady's man then soon he would not be my man at all!

Thank you Kolemath, I don't think I will forget this now!

[Keith]

A box full and empty

I decided to become a box of dog biscuits
hoping to be the food of tricks,
skimmed across muddy tiled floors
ahead of the playful slipping paws.

I could sit and watch you stare
the tormenter of obedience,
come and get me he won't care
but all of this was in my head

I just sat on the pantry shelf instead
of being carried out for walks
or crunched apart by slobery jaws
once in a while I was taken in hand

By a sneaky youth I didnt understand
he'd chomp us down and pretend it was fun
beaten and starved
by his so called mum.

[HaleINthewind]

A box full and empty

I decided to become a box of dog biscuits
hoping to be the food of tricks,
skimmed across muddy tiled floors
ahead of the playful slipping paws.

I could sit and watch you stare
the tormenter of obedience,
come and get me he won't care
but all of this was in my head

I just sat on the pantry shelf instead
of being carried out for walks
or crunched apart by slobery jaws
once in a while I was taken in hand

By a sneaky youth I didnt understand
he'd chomp us down and pretend it was fun
beaten and starved
by his so called mum.

What a surprising ending! That went from sad to dark and sad quick there at the end. I really enjoyed the first two lines

[just mercedes]

Shem, lizzie, Ray, Keith - solid!

[Lizzie]

crumb

everyone I know left on a silver plane
and here I am stuck to the floor
I don’t want to be the one to complain
but, I thought my life would be more
than drying beneath wilted romaine

Brilliant as always, Quix ><

[I see what you did there]

---

Shem, lizzie, Ray, Keith - solid!

Thanks Mercedes

[rayheinrich]

"Nuggets"
...

 toss me into the pan
like you're throwing dice.

I promise you:
I will always
taste
like love.

Two well-crafted metaphors here. Good stuff.