A Moment

[Lizzie]

I'm moving the discussion of this poem over from "Poems you Love" so that people can have a conversation if they want without enveloping that thread.

A Moment

Across the highway a heron stands
in the flooded field. It stands
as if lost in thought, on one leg, careless,
as if the field belongs to herons.
The air is clear and quiet.
Snow melts on this second fair day.
Mother and daughter,
we sit in the parking lot
with doughnut and coffee.
We are silent.
For a moment the wall between us
opens to the universe;
then closes.
And you go on saying
you do not want to repeat my life.

~ Ruth Stone


Achebe wrote: I like Ruth Stone, but this one somehow irritates me. I want to say to her 'no one cares a duck about your inability to connect with your presumably teenaged little shit of a kid, you spoilt first world freerider on cheap Chinese labour that made the ducking plastic spoon you're eating your donut with.'

Next wrote: And yet, there they are...  Personally, I'd like the poem to end on "We are silent". That would make it a much better poem for me.
But then, I don't have teenage daughter.

---

I obviously had a different opinion of the poem, otherwise I wouldn't have liked it  . On some level, though, you have to concede that the poem is successful because it has provoked a response. She's left the drama wide open for interpretation, so no one can get upset when people project their own storyline into the mix. But, she does set the scene well enough for us to do that.

Ending it on 'We are Silent' would completely neuter the poem. What would be left? A heron. Doughnuts. Nothing I would remember.

As Next said, I think that this one will probably resonate most with those who have a daughter or have ever been one. I saw in this a young-adult/teenage daughter telling the mom that she wants to go one direction with her life and the mom wants her to go another. No matter how quality the mom, on some level this has to sting to be told (or have it implied) that your life isn't good enough to repeat. Even though 'good enough' has nothing to do with the wants and needs of the next generation.

But, when it comes to the quality of the poem, my interpretation is neither here nor there.

[Leanne]

This doesn't sound like a teenage daughter at all to me -- it sounds like two adults meeting as equals, or as near to equal as you ever get with your mother. I feel the daughter should be with her own children but instead she sits aloof (at least, she is watching and waiting, and I feel it is for her children). To me, her mother is saying "yeah right, you say you don't want to repeat my mistakes but here you are neglecting your kids just like you say I did." Alternatively, she has run to her mother because of difficulties in her life that her mother also experienced, but she lacks the will or strength to remove herself from the situation. Now perhaps she knows why it was so hard for her mother, but she still believes she is somehow better, and will until she fails just as utterly. At some point her mother probably warned her, but she knew better.

The heron is a beautiful symbol. White, or light in colour usually, it is lord of the wetlands and of the sky. It is graceful, carefree, elegant and able to escape as soon as danger threatens or the moment it is tired of its place. No wonder it is the object of envy.

This is not a child's tantrum, but the dissolution of a life. It is a strong poem, thanks lizzie.

[shemthepenman]

yes, i think this is a very good poem. and it most certainly isn't a child's tantrum. however, unlike Leanne, i did read it as being about a young girl and mother.
the scene is very cinematic. full of almost lynchean symbolism. we have the highway, direction, time, potential and possibility. but our characters are stopped, parked, looking across it, surveying the land. the heron alone, or a young girl ready to make her own way in the world (along the highway), but with the arrogance of the heron (as if all fields belonged to youth), wanting to be individual. . . and yet, for a moment, the separation disappears like the snow melting. they share a communion in silence, and words are alienating. very beautifully written. i likes it.

in relation to achebe's comments, although the "no one cares about you and your. . . whatever" can be a valid criticism in, actually, quite a lot of cases, this one does a great job of describing a specific which reveals a more general truth or, as the word truth is a bit iffy, let's say "experience". and this truth or experience is applicable to a significant number of people, at least enough to make the statement "no one cares" redundantly hyperbolic.

fanks.

[next]

Ending it on 'We are Silent' would completely neuter the poem. What would be left? A heron. Doughnuts. Nothing I would remember.

Touché.
I was writing a different poem in my head, instead of commenting on the beautiful one that existed.
When reading the first of it, my mind went into a haiku-like trance. To be brought back to the reality
of human existence was just too painful. BUT, that's the strong part of this poem: the turning point,
the transition. So yes, it would neuter this poem.

Damn, there's just no accounting for readers! 
There are always going to be a few of them who value donuts and herons over human existence.



P.S.   shemthepenman's description is a wonderful poem in its own right.
(Said while realizing that complimenting him (or anyone) isn't that useful when it comes to getting stars.)

[Lizzie]

Leanne and Shem: your interpretations are beautiful and I'm savoring them (or savouring, if you prefer). Specifically, I appreciate your thoughts about the beginning of the poem and how that all ties in and its symbolic meanings which, I'm ashamed to say, went almost entirely over my head. I tend to zero in on the human element of poetry, and I thought that she was setting a peaceful scene to contrast with the dissent happening in the car.

I think it's a testament to this piece that I was captured even though I didn't understand a full half of it!

So, thank you for making me love it even more than I already did