01-21-2016, 03:36 PM
Your face shouts God
my knees are owned--
I am willfully crippled
my knees are owned--
I am willfully crippled
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Deity
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01-21-2016, 03:36 PM
Your face shouts God
my knees are owned-- I am willfully crippled
01-21-2016, 03:55 PM
Your title - should that be 'Deity'?
01-21-2016, 04:26 PM
01-24-2016, 03:28 AM
For the first line: Is that someone shouting the word God? Or is it a face that says they are God? To me, it can be read both ways, which is generally undesirable.
01-26-2016, 11:13 AM
Paul,
Perspective is everything isn't it?
How long after picking up the brush, the first masterpiece?
The goal is not to obfuscate that which is clear, but make clear that which isn't.
01-26-2016, 11:32 AM
(01-26-2016, 11:13 AM)Erthona Wrote: Paul,I feel like I missed the mark with this. I had an idea but it didn't really come together. (I probably would have deleted the thread but that I am trying to be more like Ray). And yes, I am aware of your distaste for my ambiguous tendencies. You're almost always correct but it's still an element of my personal alchemy until I find my voice. If ever. Paul
01-27-2016, 10:44 AM
Tiger,
I enjoyed the poem. I think I've found myself feeling a similar way recently, its a scary feeling, but one that makes you feel alive. |
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