Tablecloth (rev 101.001 Emz)
#1
Tablecloth
 
Thousands of stingrays;
a checkered board
covering Triton's table. 
 
 
erthona
 
©2015
How long after picking up the brush, the first masterpiece?

The goal is not to obfuscate that which is clear, but make clear that which isn't.
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#2
wouldn't change a thing.
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#3
Maybe change "board" to "flag" and capitalize "stingrays" ?  Smile
                                                                                                                a brightly colored fungus that grows in bark inclusions
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#4
Thanks Billy.

Ray, were I to cap "stingray" it would turn the poem into too much of a hotrod and I would have to change "Triton" into "Poseidon", thus screwing up the alliteration, which was the whole point of the poem anyway. Considering your proclivity for changing aquatic denizens for coupes via the Coast Guard I can see how flag would titillate (especially as people...well mostly men seem to be chasing after them...flags that is..., especially the checkered ones--I wonder if it has anything to do with women with checkered past?), but you are welcome to play with that layer for your enjoyment without me making it obvious simply for that porpoise, or as the old saying goes, if you're John Holmes, you don't need a Corvette.

dale
How long after picking up the brush, the first masterpiece?

The goal is not to obfuscate that which is clear, but make clear that which isn't.
Reply
#5
(11-25-2015, 07:59 AM)Erthona Wrote:  Ray, were I to cap "stingray" it would turn the poem into too much of a hotrod and I would have to change "Triton" into "Poseidon", thus screwing up the alliteration, which was the whole point of the poem anyway. Considering your proclivity for changing aquatic denizens for coupes via the Coast Guard I can see how flag would titillate (especially as people...well mostly men seem to be chasing after them...flags that is..., especially the checkered ones--I wonder if it has anything to do with women with checkered past?), but you are welcome to play with that layer for your enjoyment without me making it obvious simply for that porpoise, or as the old saying goes, if you're John Holmes, you don't need a Corvette.

dale

You are, as always, hypothetically correct. I hereby bow to your mythical perceptions and
fully accept your Holmesian allusion as a fully-extended metaphor.

As my father used to say: "Leave it alone, don't touch it."

Your presence gladdens my heart,
Ray
                                                                                                                a brightly colored fungus that grows in bark inclusions
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#6
It is enough then. Smile

dale
How long after picking up the brush, the first masterpiece?

The goal is not to obfuscate that which is clear, but make clear that which isn't.
Reply
#7
I love this Smile

I wonder if you need "covering" or not?
These fragments I have shored against my ruins
Why then Ile fit you
-T.S. Eliot (The Wasteland)

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#8
Emz,
Thank you. As this is a brief observation and not some sort of ELH, I prefer grammatical sentences. Which does point out the fact I am missing a semi-colon. Thank you, I shall revise.

Dale
How long after picking up the brush, the first masterpiece?

The goal is not to obfuscate that which is clear, but make clear that which isn't.
Reply




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