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Poetry in Real Time
It's not yet noon;
out my window
I hear the heavy heels
of staggered steps
and someone slurring--
no... singing:
“champagne don’t drive me crazy,
cocaine don’t make me lazy.
Ain’t nobody’s business but my own.”*
I smile. And share.
*"Nobody's Business But My Own" was written by Henry Fredericks.
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Made me smile, too.
billy wrote:welcome to the site. make it your own, wear it like a well loved slipper and wear it out. ella pleads:please click forum titles for posting guidelines, important threads. New poet? Try Poetic DevicesandWard's Tips
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that's what you call poetry in real time
![[Image: 6.gif]](http://l.yimg.com/us.yimg.com/i/mesg/emoticons7/6.gif)
- the partially blind semi bald eagle
Bastard Elect
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Well, there are two things I know about this poem: it is too long to be a short poem and to short to be a long poem. If this were a drawing it would be drawn with a light hard pencil, so that one could barely see the image and so you will know what I mean when I say I could have used more texture in it.
dale
How long after picking up the brush, the first masterpiece?
The goal is not to obfuscate that which is clear, but make clear that which isn't.
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(04-03-2015, 01:32 AM)Tiger the Lion Wrote: Poetry in Real Time
It's not yet noon;
out my window
I hear the heavy heels
of staggered steps
and someone slurring--
no... singing:
“champagne don’t drive me crazy,
cocaine don’t make me lazy.
Ain’t nobody’s business but my own.”*
I smile. And share.
*"Nobody's Business But My Own" was written by Henry Fredericks.
Thanks for sharing with everyone. Could be trimmed even more: (e.g. "it's, heavy"…comma after steps, you could delete "and"). I like this. Very fun.
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Thanks guys. I quite honestly finished typing and shared before the gentleman was done his song. Thanks for indulging the both of us.
Paul
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My friend
has just passed by again
singing a happier song,
good for him--
it's 3 pm
and sunny.
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Would probably remove "has", and "Good for him" feels too far from the earlier stanza -- I get all breathless with that break, but, I think, for no real reason. Otherwise, good, but I hate the last two lines, not because they're any bad, but because right now, a sunny three pm here means hell on earth, it's so hot.
