prison wall
#1
EW,

Definitively a short poem. Where did the tree go?

Dale
How long after picking up the brush, the first masterpiece?

The goal is not to obfuscate that which is clear, but make clear that which isn't.
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#2
(07-31-2014, 08:47 AM)entwife Wrote:  
against the prison wall - the shadow of a tree

This is very Death of Lorca to me. He stepped out from the tree and flew. They shot him once in the head for being a rebel, and once in the ass for being gay.
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#3
Quote:entwife wrote: "the tree is figurative only the shadow is real "

ah, I expected as much Smile

Dale
How long after picking up the brush, the first masterpiece?

The goal is not to obfuscate that which is clear, but make clear that which isn't.
Reply
#4
it gives me a feel of the birdman of alcatraz (the title) but the poem itself is just the quote and does little for me. maybe it would have been better in one of the non critique forums as the quote it is as e e cummings isn't here to answer any feedback about it.
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#5
(07-31-2014, 08:47 AM)entwife Wrote:  
against the prison wall - the shadow of a tree

I enjoyed thinking about which side of the wall the viewer of the shadow is on, and the connotation of freedom the tree throws up, even if the tree were within the walls. It made me think that the sun may cast the tree in such a way that we get

shadow of a tree climbs the prison wall

JG
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#6
fuck me, i thought that was the title Hysterical and yes, i should've paid more attention.

okay, re the one line poem, it doesn't strike me as a poem and a genuinely don't say that out of resentment for telling me to pay more attention Big Grin

it feels like it needs just a bit more of something.
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