Posts: 865
Threads: 232
Joined: Oct 2012
The crows are blowin two step jazz,
linked wings shoulder the coffin,
mama magpie second lines
with all her finery showin.
blackbird bangs a big bass drum
his walk beats out the time
parasols twirl in white gloved hands
stepping hens hold up the line.
the horses trot feather and eye patch
the churchyard listens between the changes
trombone and tuba trumpet and horn
If your undies fer you've been smoking through em, don't peg em out
Posts: 18
Threads: 3
Joined: May 2014
This is a musical poem. I can hear the crows cawwww and see their sky dance. Magpies are all of their own, in voice and outfit. This poem is a fancydance, a concert of natural players. It needn't have been any longer, as the show has just begun.
*
okay, do I need to give non fluffy feedback. I enjoyed the mysterious line: "linked wings shoulder the coffin" It made me wonder if Mamma magpie was a true mother spilling tears with the rest of the group, attempted to be dressed in her best. hmmm. Thanks for sharing
Posts: 865
Threads: 232
Joined: Oct 2012
(05-05-2014, 04:56 AM)Celestina Waters Wrote: This is a musical poem. I can hear the crows cawwww and see their sky dance. Magpies are all of their own, in voice and outfit. This poem is a fancydance, a concert of natural players. It needn't have been any longer, as the show has just begun.
*
okay, do I need to give non fluffy feedback. I enjoyed the mysterious line: "linked wings shoulder the coffin" It made me wonder if Mamma magpie was a true mother spilling tears with the rest of the group, attempted to be dressed in her best. hmmm. Thanks for sharing
Hi Celestina Waters thank you for your considered feedback, it's great to understand how you interpret the poem and gives me food for thought, its also nice to know it works for such a short piece much appreciated. Best Keith
If your undies fer you've been smoking through em, don't peg em out
Posts: 1,827
Threads: 305
Joined: Dec 2016
This poem seemed to get buried fast. Bump!
_________________________________________________________________________________________________________
This reminds me of those old cartoons where they had the mean gangster crows or magpies, or whatever they were. Those old AP, or was it UA cartoons.
I don't really get the 3rd line
"'mama magpie second lines"
Well, I get half of it. The "mama magpie" part.
Dale
How long after picking up the brush, the first masterpiece?
The goal is not to obfuscate that which is clear, but make clear that which isn't.
Posts: 865
Threads: 232
Joined: Oct 2012
(05-08-2014, 01:14 PM)Erthona Wrote: This poem seemed to get buried fast. Bump!
_________________________________________________________________________________________________________
This reminds me of those old cartoons where they had the mean gangster crows or magpies, or whatever they were. Those old AP, or was it UA cartoons.
I don't really get the 3rd line
"'mama magpie second lines"
Well, I get half of it. The "mama magpie" part.
Dale
That's good because I had cartoons in mind, In America (New Orleans in my mind) to hold a funeral procession you need a permit, the permit holders are referred to as first line anyone else that wants to walk with the procession is in the second line. Best Keith
If your undies fer you've been smoking through em, don't peg em out
Posts: 5,057
Threads: 1,075
Joined: Dec 2009
it made me think of dumbo. [the cartoon]
the only thing i saw wrong with it was that it had a few verse missing, would love to see this one enlarged.
Posts: 865
Threads: 232
Joined: Oct 2012
(05-08-2014, 04:54 PM)billy Wrote: it made me think of dumbo. [the cartoon]
the only thing i saw wrong with it was that it had a few verse missing, would love to see this one enlarged.
Sounds like a plan and I do have some ideas, thanks Billy
If your undies fer you've been smoking through em, don't peg em out
