Hai kuckoo 2 (for erthona)
#1
Dawn opens window.
Air cools me but I sleep on.
Dawn…shut the window.

Sprung grass green tinted,
new growth in wind light scented
gives green light to Spring.

See lemon squeezing
crocus poketh, almost Spring;
then purple later.

Twigs bare, dry as sticks.
twigs turn sticky at the tip
glued on buds appear.

Rabbit's have young 'uns.
each day starts mornin' runnin’;
funnin' not for fox.

Tits out from nowhere.
What means the endless squeaking?
Seeking early worm.

Mindless midges swarm,
evenings keep their engines warm.
Bats have cooked breakfast.

Pupaea pulse and pop.
Life returning hung on silk.
Silver cord is cut.

Sun each day climbing.
By tomorrow higher than spire.
Soon all day Sunday.

Easy Spring Haiku
avoiding rhymes like cuckoo.
Listen! Hi cuckoo!

Tectak
Spring 2014 modified from previous to 575Smile
Reply
#2
I like the idea of creating an extended poem from a series of Haiku. You may think it was easy to avoid rhyming, but you dropped one with swarm/warm before the double-cuckoo.
My new watercolor: 'Nightmare After Christmas'/Chris
Reply
#3
(03-20-2014, 03:52 AM)ChristopherSea Wrote:  I like the idea of creating an extended poem from a series of Haiku. You may think it was easy to avoid rhyming, but you dropped one with swarm/warm before the double-cuckoo.

Hi ku...chris,
I guess you have to read haikuckoo first...or however I spelled it originally!Smile
Best,
ToM
Reply
#4
The best Haiku I've ever read.

"Tits out from nowhere.
What means the endless squeaking?
seeking early worm."
How long after picking up the brush, the first masterpiece?

The goal is not to obfuscate that which is clear, but make clear that which isn't.
Reply
#5
(03-20-2014, 03:52 AM)ChristopherSea Wrote:  I like the idea of creating an extended poem from a series of Haiku. You may think it was easy to avoid rhyming, but you dropped one with swarm/warm before the double-cuckoo.
it's pretty common though ususally it consists of a haiku and a two line follow on then another haiku etc. usually two or more people take part in the thing which is called a hokku. it consted of 7 lines total.(which is a line as we know it but not in actuality because it was in japanese Big Grin.). i'm not sure but i think it was from this that basho and co devise the haiku (by anothor name i can't remember)

Dawn opens window.
Air cools me but I sleep on.
Dawn…shut the window.

i got a kick from this one and the line

Soon all day Sunday.

it has a japanese sound to it
Reply
#6
(03-22-2014, 04:42 PM)billy Wrote:  
(03-20-2014, 03:52 AM)ChristopherSea Wrote:  I like the idea of creating an extended poem from a series of Haiku. You may think it was easy to avoid rhyming, but you dropped one with swarm/warm before the double-cuckoo.
it's pretty common though ususally it consists of a haiku and a two line follow on then another haiku etc. usually two or more people take part in the thing which is called a hokku. it consted of 7 lines total.(which is a line as we know it but not in actuality because it was in japanese Big Grin.). i'm not sure but i think it was from this that basho and co devise the haiku (by anothor name i can't remember)

Dawn opens window.
Air cools me but I sleep on.
Dawn…shut the window.

i got a kick from this one and the line

Soon all day Sunday.

it has a japanese sound to it

Thanks for taking the time to explain the Hoku 'extended haiku' for me billy.Thumbsup
My new watercolor: 'Nightmare After Christmas'/Chris
Reply




Users browsing this thread: 1 Guest(s)
Do NOT follow this link or you will be banned from the site!