Agenda

[heisenborg]

Monsanto gloats while they shove down our throats
Food that by law they're not required to research
This ear of corn is stillborn
So grab your signs and T-shirts

The government's muddied
In this painful hour by corporate power
The population over-studied,
the family farm gutted and bloodied
Food safety's not the public's business
Go on, try to win this

Try to put a stop to the massive agenda
The government can't legally break, so they will bend ya
Poisoning you, keeping you dumb, passive and ignorant
The truth hurts and there's much more than you're picturin

Major media news only wears one pair of shoes
If you can't wear it, then you're a terrorist
American freedom was something to be proud of
Now it's a phrase meant to rile people up

Get them crazy, violent, in need of control
Cause they're coming for your guns, your kids and your gold!
Listen, watch the news, cause it's the only source
Of real information from a terrifying force.

[milo]

Monsanto gloats while they shove down our throats
Food that by law they're not required to research
This ear of corn is stillborn
So grab your signs and T-shirts

The government's muddied
In this painful hour by corporate power
The population over-studied,
the family farm gutted and bloodied
Food safety's not the public's business
Go on, try to win this

Try to put a stop to the massive agenda
The government can't legally break, so they will bend ya
Poisoning you, keeping you dumb, passive and ignorant
The truth hurts and there's much more than you're picturin

Major media news only wears one pair of shoes
If you can't wear it, then you're a terrorist
American freedom was something to be proud of
Now it's a phrase meant to rile people up

Get them crazy, violent, in need of control
Cause they're coming for your guns, your kids and your gold!
Listen, watch the news, cause it's the only source
Of real information from a terrifying force.

The problem with writing rhetoric is that it is too easy to get caught up in /what/ you want to say and forget that poetry is all about how you say it. There are some problems with inversion, some superfluous wording, quite a bit of tired phrasing and of course the meter is a mess.

That being said it is a good effort and your narrator seems to feel strongly about it.

Thanks for posting.

[heisenborg]

Thanks for the criticism. My style is still very pre-beginner. I was more concentrating on the subject matter than the "poetry theory", so I may have gotten a bit lost in terms of construction/delivery. Plus, my experience with said art is virtually null. It was actually more of a "freestyle" in my mind, so it kind of straddles the border of "abstract". I tried to keep things as original as I could(not alter my original thoughts/content), but of course I had to make some grammatical changes etc. I could have spruced it up a bit/made it flow more.
I'll edit it when I have time, it might make my delivery more powerful.

Thanks for the tips!

[chamilto]

Wow man, this one speaks to me. Food security and integrity are something I research a lot and am very passionate about. Monsanto, in particular...

As far as the poem goes, I loved the way it started. Specifying 'agenda' down to the Monsanto issue allowed it to sound much more real, more accessible. I liked how the poem presented the reader/population as a passive player, without the ability to change the system. I will say that after the first few stanzas, the poem moved toward the media and a more generalized anti-government stance that was maybe a little less accessible than the beginning. However, perhaps you were going for a more generalized commentary at that point.

In any case, awesome stuff.
Favorite part: American freedom was something to be proud of
Now it's a phrase meant to rile people up.

Real talk.
Keep it up!

[YaMarVa]

Monsanto gloats while they shove down our throats
Food that by law they're not required to research
This ear of corn is stillborn
So grab your signs and T-shirts

The government's muddied
In this painful hour by corporate power
The population over-studied,
the family farm gutted and bloodied
Food safety's not the public's business
Go on, try to win this

Try to put a stop to the massive agenda
The government can't legally break, so they will bend ya
Poisoning you, keeping you dumb, passive and ignorant
The truth hurts and there's much more than you're picturin

Major media news only wears one pair of shoes
If you can't wear it, then you're a terrorist
American freedom was something to be proud of
Now it's a phrase meant to rile people up

Get them crazy, violent, in need of control
Cause they're coming for your guns, your kids and your gold!
Listen, watch the news, cause it's the only source
Of real information from a terrifying force.

The content is interesting, but this appears to me to be more of a rant.
I will pass on a criticism given to some of my poems, as I think it applies here; don’t tell me, show me. Your rant/poem does more telling than showing.
Example; "The government can't legally break, so they will bend ya
Poisoning you, keeping you dumb, passive and ignorant"
How are they poisoning us, keeping us dumb, passive and ignorant? I am not saying they aren't, but it is too easy to just say they are. That is a purpose of poetry, to explain things/ideas using different unique metaphors and examples which general prose does not.

“Major media news only wears one pair of shoes
If you can't wear it, then you're a terrorist”
I am aware of many major media outlets with many different opinions (shoes), so again please show how they all wear the same shoes and what type of shoes they are. And how or who they've deemed terrorists, don’t just tell me. To compel your audience you must give examples.
Then...in the next stanza you tell the reader "Listen, watch the news, cause it's the only source
Of real information from a terrifying force." Does this contradict your last stanza? You criticized the media, now you want me to listen and watch it? Make this more clear as media and news can be different, but I am not sure this was your intent. Or do you mean become the media in order to control media?

And for fodder
"The government is us; we are the government, you and I. " -Theodore Roosevelt, 1902

I have a hard time distinguishing the discreet government your writting about (if you are writing about the government of the United States) whom bends its people, as the US is run by its people. So are we bending ourselves? And who are the people apart from this government being bent? I would describe this in more detail as well, as it is easy to critisce without giving solutions. I hope you find my solutions to your poem/rant’s critiques as fair evaluation.