?

[hellbent]

Once youve made your past mistakes, the dearest lord will ever take, a person from his dying home, and alter every chromosome
He'll smash away the man to cash, and cache his plan in well advance, even though youre once held stance, is crushing from behind you.
it doesnt matter that your sorry, doesnt matter if you pay, doesnt matter, you were haughty, tempting death in every way.
It doesnt matter that your hurting, "pain will make you in the way, of manly men from urban legend, true bruce willis, i will raise'
And now my past is ever haunting from the shadows..I cant stay. If i learn to love another, i will hurt you. Its your play.

?

[milo]

Once youve made your past mistakes, the dearest lord will ever take, a person from his dying home, and alter every chromosome
He'll smash away the man to cash, and cache his plan in well advance, even though youre once held stance, is crushing from behind you.
it doesnt matter that your sorry, doesnt matter if you pay, doesnt matter, you were haughty, tempting death in every way.
It doesnt matter that your hurting, "pain will make you in the way, of manly men from urban legend, true bruce willis, i will raise'
And now my past is ever haunting from the shadows..I cant stay. If i learn to love another, i will hurt you. Its your play.

?

First I would set this up as couplets as that is how it reads anyway:

Once you've made your past mistakes,
the dearest lord will ever take,
a person from his dying home,
and alter every chromosome
He'll smash away the man to cash,
and cache his plan in well advance,
even though youre once held stance,
is crushing from behind you.
it doesnt matter that your sorry,
doesnt matter if you pay,
doesnt matter, you were haughty,
tempting death in every way.
It doesnt matter that your hurting,
"pain will make you in the way,
of manly men from urban legend,
true bruce willis, i will raise'
And now my past is ever haunting
from the shadows..I cant stay.
If i learn to love another,
i will hurt you. Its your play.

Now it becomes clear that your rhyme is inconsistent - either rhyme or don't, here you switch back and forth and change from a-a, b-b to a-b, a-b.

As well, there are a couple metrical irregularities, but the biggest challenge is that some of your lines don't quite make sense:"the dearest lord will ever take", "He'll smash away the man to cash,", "and cache his plan in well advance", etc.

It is a good effort, thanks for sharing, good luck in the revision process.

[billy]

Once youve made your past mistakes, the dearest lord will ever take, a person from his dying home, and alter every chromosome
He'll smash away the man to cash, and cache his plan in well advance, even though youre once held stance, is crushing from behind you.
it doesnt matter that your sorry, doesnt matter if you pay, doesnt matter, you were haughty, tempting death in every way.
It doesnt matter that your hurting, "pain will make you in the way, of manly men from urban legend, true bruce willis, i will raise'
And now my past is ever haunting from the shadows..I cant stay. If i learn to love another, i will hurt you. Its your play.

?

please read the rules, specially about giving feedback