Waiting for spring -4 liner

[maddy]

I was having an email conversation with a friend of mine about the late spring this year and I said:

As the spring is lurking behind the drapes of unwavering rain
Hesitant to mark the end of the shiny white snow’s reign
and until the mighty yet life-bearing sunrays kiss the dormant buds
let Maddy’s exploration of the Badger State begin, not stopping even if the paths are filled with muds.

Please critique

[ESmith]

It's very nice

I wonder if it would work better if you separated some of those lines into two lines, e.g.
'As the spring is lurking
behind the drapes of unwavering rain
Hesitant to mark the end
Of the shiny white snow's reign'

Also, it's quite probably a matter of personal perspective, but I suspect that there is a better way to describe the snow than 'shiny white' - maybe try looking at each of those words individually and grab a thesaurus.

I don't understand the 'let Maddy's exploration of the badger state begin'. Is this a personal reference?

Lastly, you would normally say 'mud', not 'muds', so this reads a little awkwardly, although I understand that here, it serves to help the rhyme.

[Simba]

I was having an email conversation with a friend of mine about the late spring this year and I said:

As the spring is lurking behind the drapes of unwavering rain
Hesitant to mark the end of the shiny white snow’s reign
and until the mighty yet life-bearing sunrays kiss the dormant buds
let Maddy’s exploration of the Badger State begin, not stopping even if the paths are filled with muds.

:huh: Please critique:huh:

I really like the second line, I think it has a real ring to it. The personification of the sunrays kissing the buds is nice but could be seen as a cliche. Also, "let Maddy's exploration of the Badger State begin" really gives you a sense that an adventure has started and after reading this I want to hear about the adventure too!