03-23-2013, 02:53 PM
Hello everyone, just kind of thought I'd do this before showing anyone else, anonymous is much easier isn't it? haha well one of my friends is an amazing writer and has like 100k+ tumblr followers and said i should start to get feedback on my writing. It's kind of dark and follows a common theme with internal struggle. But I'll post my newest writing I'm rather nervous.
When I dream of elevators,
I know it's never good.
They're never working,
never useful, never understood.
But what I can count on,
is for it to fall,
one way or another I will wake up,
chest pounding, tears flowing, thoughts racing.
And all I remember is bracing,
bracing for impact that never comes.
Never sounds, no screams no shouts
just emotions, panic, anxiety
things of which, i'm all too familiar.
And for some sick reason,
I crave these feelings,
but when it happens I curse and cringe.
It's like my own sick binge.
When I dream of elevators,
I know it's never good.
They're never working,
never useful, never understood.
But what I can count on,
is for it to fall,
one way or another I will wake up,
chest pounding, tears flowing, thoughts racing.
And all I remember is bracing,
bracing for impact that never comes.
Never sounds, no screams no shouts
just emotions, panic, anxiety
things of which, i'm all too familiar.
And for some sick reason,
I crave these feelings,
but when it happens I curse and cringe.
It's like my own sick binge.
. This started off quite rhythmical the first 4/5 lines then you have abandoned it, try to keep to one or the other
