Awake!
I woke from vigour and a full tank—
crashing in a squint.
And dreams can be so mean
in their terminal tactility,
slinking away—
our fingers trailing their backs.
i’m going to go out on a limb and say this is probably the best poem of the year. do we have a thing for that, because if so i want to nominate this one as pigpen poem of the year. it truly is a work of art. and it even looks like a work of art. it’s physical presence. it looks like it should be blown up and hung on the wall of an art gallery. it’s a thing of beauty in every respect. pure genius.
Hey Tiger,
I quite like the sound and rhythm of this. I even read it out loud a few times just to hear it more than once. I also like the imagery with the dreams, and the last line leaves a huge impression on the reader. This is a strong piece.
Nice work,
Richard
(11-30-2017, 09:55 AM)Tiger the Lion Wrote: [ -> ]Awake!
I woke from vigour and a full tank—
crashing in a squint.
And dreams can be so mean
in their terminal tactility,
slinking away—
our fingers trailing their backs.
I think God gives us dreams because He knows
how we are struggling through life. He allows
adventures where we can't get hurt and sends
us friends when we are lonely. I love how He made
that possible because He loves us and he knows
our limits. Your poem brought tears,
so I guess it is a very effective work.
I'm hopeful you get lots of blessings today.
-nibbed
(11-30-2017, 09:55 AM)Tiger the Lion Wrote: [ -> ]And dreams can be so mean
in their terminal tactility,
slinking away—
our fingers trailing their backs.
Onee of the most effective sentences I've read in poetry.
